what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
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