Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
