It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
