i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
