So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
