i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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