Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
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