I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Watching her eat just hurts me
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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