No, you can still breathe under the balls.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize