Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
