Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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