i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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