i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
