I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
The beer is more important than you right now.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
