I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
