This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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