Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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