Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
