put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Is this like a preordered booty call?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
