So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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