I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize