I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
