Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
a search helicopter?!
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
