He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
