Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
