it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
