could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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