Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
