yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
