is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
