these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
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