Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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