Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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