YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
