I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
