He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
