i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
