Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
