HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
