Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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