Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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