also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Randomize
