Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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