Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Randomize
