TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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