i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
