At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Randomize
