If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
