break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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