I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Randomize
