if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
