I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
